“‘Maybe there is a beast….maybe it’s only us.'” (William Golding, Lord of the Flies)
The Ottawa Irish call their inside centre “Piggy”, a fitting epithet considering the particularly savage beating received by the poor snout-nosed center and his squad this past weekend. The Wanderers scored five wild-eyed tries to crush the Irish spirits and clinch first place in the league.
New French flanker Devon “Hugo” Hyver (Pronounced “Weaver” like his Hollywood doppleganger) and Ted McGregor opened the scoring for the Wanderers. A soon to be classic “Oreo” try followed, with sugary white-boy Matt Barazin doing some impressive support running to make the linking pass between wingers Caleb “I’ll Have Another” Jordan and Fast Freddy Taco. Ted McGregor and Caleb “I’ll Have Another” Jordan both managed to turn the corner on the Irish defense and score corner tries.
Another notable on attack was fullback Jon Dextras, who stretched an already distended Irish defense with consistent blindside attacks. Flyhalf Adrian Thorogood contributed to the game’s theatrics with a chip and chase turned car-crash-uglu knock on in the try-zone. Centre Matthew Barazin added a classic Irish moment of his own, getting in some solid Mickey Ward body punches and leaving at least two opponents buckled over for the count.
The oppressive heat sapped the Wanderer’s strength in the second half, and the Irish started to creep back into the game. Fortunately, any hope of a comeback evaporated with a perfectly executed wing-in play that sent Caleb “I’ll Have Another” Jordan galloping majestically through the Irish backline.
With the unbridled win and bonus points, the Wanderers find themselves several lengths ahead of their closest rivals, and well positioned to take this year’s league championship.